Days like today, I think of this song called "Healer" by Hillsong United.

In the 1st verse, there's a line that goes "You heal all my disease" and the 1st line of the chorus is "I believe you're my healer". Thats what I believe, and what i'm riding on...especially today. If that makes any sense.

I'm really going on what God said about how he wont give me more than i can handle, when i think of that..i'm reminded about something Paula White said, about how "If God brings you to it, he'll bring you through it". I mean i believe that with all of my heart, there's no doubt about that. But for the past 4 years I have been battling constant chronic ear infections...they attack both ears..but mainly my right ear. There's even been times where they attack both ears at the same time. But i believe that God is my divine Healer. It's just I get frustrated that i still get them constantly after 4 years of continuous (sp?) praying for healing. They really knock me for a loop, and 90% of the time the fluid that builds up around my ear drum brings on extreme Vertigo. I mean I'm still praying and believing for God to heal me...its just i'm getting frustrated, real frustrated. But in a way sometimes i think that it may be God testing my faith, to see if I will continue to praise him and seek him and trust in him that he's going to heal me. I think thats what he's doing...but idk...i grow and learn new things in my relationship with him all the time.

About 2 years ago, when i was still going to World Outreach Center...this lady at my church gave me a book called "The Memory Bible on Healing" and its got 31 scriptures on it about just Healing...its by this guy named Mike Murdock, and underneath each scripture it has his translation of it. I've been flipping through it alot lately, Mark 11:24 says "Therefore I say unto you, What things you desire, when you pray, believe that you receive them, and you shall have them". To me that means...Believe. Just believe. If I pray for healing but dont expect it, i dont think it will come..I think thats been my problem. I've prayed for healing...but i haven't fully believed it will happen. Huh...well, what do you know. I just taught myself a lesson. Dont you just love when you do that to yourself!? lol.

That makes me remember in the movie "Facing the Giants", when the stranger told Grant Taylor about how the 2 Farmers were praying for rain and 1 Farmer just sat at home and prayed, but the other actually went out into his fields and prepared them. Which one do you think believed God would answer their prayer for Rain? It reminds me of my situation in a way, I can pray and thats that...or I can pray and actually believe..and know..and trust that he WILL heal me!

okay...I think I'm done babbling now. If you read all of this, you are a true friend and I love you! lol.