Just a little piece of my testimony

"For as long as i shall live, i will testify to love. I'll be a witness in the silences when words are not enough. With every breath i take i will give thanks to God above. For as long as i shall live, I will testify to love."

That is the chorus to 1 of my favorite songs. Its been around for a long time, whenever i listen to it...it really explains my faith in God. Sometimes I dont know whether i'm coming or going, But as long as I trust in God and give him my all...he has me. God is on my side and through him, NOTHING is impossible. I know i'm not perfect, but in his eyes..he see's something more. In everything I do, i hope he see's reflections of him. His love is the reason I'm alive, his love has restored my heart.

I remember back before God got ahold of me, I was sitting right where i am now...on my bed and I was so depressed..on the inside...on the outside nobody even knew. I was an expert at pulling off that fake smile. I was sitting here and i had lost all hope for everything..i believed in God..but i wasnt really living for him or embracing him. I felt so lost, alone, and abandoned. Inside i was screaming and dying and i honestly wanted to die. I was so broken and destroyed on the inside. But I knew a girl named Lauren Walls..and i'd talk to her almost daily on the phone and she kept telling me "You need to come to the basement, you need to come to the well". So 1 day i told her "hey...i'm commin to the basement on Tuesday" and It was the week of Valentines day and so Matt was speaking on Love and he said that night "I cant tell you how many times girls tell me.."matt I cut myself just to make me feel" i cant tell you how many of them have showed me the razor blade marks on their arms" and then he said "But you know what, you still may have those physical scars...but God can take away those emotional scars and you can feel whole and worthy. YOU are his Princess" and I just lost it and started crying. That night at the basement I came back to Jesus and i have been on fire for him ever since. Certain people go through certain things for a reason...and maybe...the very thing that tore me apart, could be what helps put someone else back together. :)

Romans 5:8 says, "But God demonstrated His own love towards us in this: That while we were still sinners Christ died for us". To me that scripture basically explains itself...Jesus loved us (and that means you too!) so much, that even though we sin and we mess up and we fall and just get into all kinds of jams. HE still died for us, so that we could spend Eternity with him. To me that is just amazing, its so awesome that sometimes my mind cant even comprehend it all. My God is mighty to save...thats for sure!

Only in America

this is Funny... because it's True..

1. Only in America......can a pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance.
2. Only in America......are there handicap parking places in front of a skating rink.
3. Only in America......do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.
4. Only in America......do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries, and a diet coke.
5. Only in America......do banks leave both doors open and then chain the pens to the counters.
6. Only in America......do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway and put our useless junk in the garage.
7. Only in America......do we use answering machines to screen calls and then have call waiting so we won't miss a call from someone we didn't want to talk to in the first place.
8. Only in America......do we buy hot dogs in packages of ten and buns in packages of eight.
9. Only in America......do we use the word 'politics' to describe the process so well: 'Poli' in Latin meaning 'many' and 'tics' meaning'bloodsucking creatures'.
10. Only in America......do they have drive-up ATM machines with Braille lettering.

EVER WONDER????

Why the sun lightens our hair, but darkens our skin?
Why women can't put on mascara with their mouth closed?
Why don't you ever see the headline "Psychic Wins Lottery"?
Why is "abbreviated" such a long word?
Why is it that doctors call what they do "practice"?
Why is it that to stop Windows, you have to click on "Start"?
Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor, and dishwashing liquidis made with real lemons?
Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?
Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour?
Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food?
When dog food is new and improved tasting, who tests it?
Why didn't Noah swat those two mosquitoes?
Why do they sterilize the needle for lethal injections?
Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?
Why are they called apartments when they are all stuck together?
If con is the opposite of pro, is Congress the opposite ofprogress?
If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the terminal?

~~~~On a bar of Dial soap: "Directions: Use like regular soap."(and that would be how??...)
On some Swanson frozen dinners: "Serving suggestion: Defrost."(but, it's "just" a suggestion.)
On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom): "Do not turn upside down."(well...duh, a bit late, huh!)
On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: "Product will be hot afterheating."(...and you thought????...)
On packaging for a Rowenta iron: "Do not iron clothes onbody."(but wouldn't this save me more time?)
On Boot's Children Cough Medicine:"Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication."(We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5-year-olds with head-colds off those forklifts.)
On Nytol Sleep Aid: "Warning: May cause drowsiness."(and... I'm taking this because???....)
On most brands of Christmas lights: "For indoor or outdoor use only."(as opposed to...what?)
On Sunsbury's peanuts: "Warning: contains nuts."(talk about a news flash)
On an American Airlines packet of nuts: "Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts."(Step 3: maybe, uh...fly Delta?)

Days like today, I think of this song called "Healer" by Hillsong United.

In the 1st verse, there's a line that goes "You heal all my disease" and the 1st line of the chorus is "I believe you're my healer". Thats what I believe, and what i'm riding on...especially today. If that makes any sense.

I'm really going on what God said about how he wont give me more than i can handle, when i think of that..i'm reminded about something Paula White said, about how "If God brings you to it, he'll bring you through it". I mean i believe that with all of my heart, there's no doubt about that. But for the past 4 years I have been battling constant chronic ear infections...they attack both ears..but mainly my right ear. There's even been times where they attack both ears at the same time. But i believe that God is my divine Healer. It's just I get frustrated that i still get them constantly after 4 years of continuous (sp?) praying for healing. They really knock me for a loop, and 90% of the time the fluid that builds up around my ear drum brings on extreme Vertigo. I mean I'm still praying and believing for God to heal me...its just i'm getting frustrated, real frustrated. But in a way sometimes i think that it may be God testing my faith, to see if I will continue to praise him and seek him and trust in him that he's going to heal me. I think thats what he's doing...but idk...i grow and learn new things in my relationship with him all the time.

About 2 years ago, when i was still going to World Outreach Center...this lady at my church gave me a book called "The Memory Bible on Healing" and its got 31 scriptures on it about just Healing...its by this guy named Mike Murdock, and underneath each scripture it has his translation of it. I've been flipping through it alot lately, Mark 11:24 says "Therefore I say unto you, What things you desire, when you pray, believe that you receive them, and you shall have them". To me that means...Believe. Just believe. If I pray for healing but dont expect it, i dont think it will come..I think thats been my problem. I've prayed for healing...but i haven't fully believed it will happen. Huh...well, what do you know. I just taught myself a lesson. Dont you just love when you do that to yourself!? lol.

That makes me remember in the movie "Facing the Giants", when the stranger told Grant Taylor about how the 2 Farmers were praying for rain and 1 Farmer just sat at home and prayed, but the other actually went out into his fields and prepared them. Which one do you think believed God would answer their prayer for Rain? It reminds me of my situation in a way, I can pray and thats that...or I can pray and actually believe..and know..and trust that he WILL heal me!

okay...I think I'm done babbling now. If you read all of this, you are a true friend and I love you! lol.

Tonight

Tonight...The Basement

Cathedral of the Cross

Centerpoint

6:30

BE THERE!!!

the new year..

So i keep coming across the question "whats your new years resolution?" and "what do you plan on doing differently in 2009?" so i decided to give it alot of thought and i realized that there is ALOT i want to change about my life. Some i cant control, but there is plenty that i can control.

1.I'd like to over come my fear of failure. My whole life I've feared it more than anything..I used to strive so hard to be the best at everything that it had alot of negative effects on me. I've gotten better about it, but it still has a powerful hold on me and my life.

2. I'd like to be able to let go of things that have happened in my life...losing people that i love. It still holds such a strong grip on me and it really weighs me down and 1/2 the time i dont realize it until i start thinking about it.

3. I'd like to confront my fear of change...and thats pretty much just about everything..losing people i love, losing contact, growing apart...Thats 1 of my main things i'd like to change.
I'd like to confront all of this beginning in 2009 by putting on the armor of God. I am giving myself to God. Yeah we both know I've said that before, and i meant it...i just didnt follow though. But thats why this time I'm giving myself to him and him alone! Not him and the world, HIM ALONE!

Life just gets hard some times...it really does. The 1 thing I hate is as Matt Pitt puts it "Whispers in the Dark", and we all have them..here are some examples...

1.) you're too fat
2.) you're ugly
3.) you're not skinny enough
4.)you'll never amount to anything
5.)you've got nothing to live for

and thats just some of them and im going to stop listening to the whispers in the dark, they are nothing but lies from Satan and he is under my feet.

It says in the bible in Romans 4, to have faith is to be righteous <{in right standing with God} and when you're righteous he can only protect you, bless you, and use you! Which is exactly what my heart desires. So no matter what change comes my way, ...and it definantly will!! I will be in right standing with him, trusting him with all of my heart, and giving my every day, every word, every action, and every emotion to him! This way I dont have to get ready for the future and always be scared, I know that yesterday, today, and tomorrow is the Lords, and I dont have to worry!

Things I'd like to do differently:
Be a Witness everywhere I go.
Have a more Christ like attitude when it comes to my brother.
Love when i dont think i can.
Change the world!!
Be WAY more consistant in my bible & prayer time.

Balancing my time in order to have my quiet time with God is something that i will have to do "on purpose!" At times I will just have to say NO to other things. Life is tough no matter what your age is and we have to make a choice to make the time to spend with God or not! Something really cool that God is teaching me, is to simply BELIEVE IN HIM. Believe everything His Word say, not just part. When Christ is put first, nothing is impossible!

Beauty

So Tori finally talked me into getting a blog, so i thought i'd give it a go.

When i was trying to think about what to write the only thing that could come to my mind was Beauty and Grace of Jesus. When i think about that..I think of what my friend Heather always has told me, "You are Fearfully and Wonderfully made in the Lords image". What that means to me is..you are a beautiful creation of God. He knew you before you were in the womb and he created you for a purpose. He doesnt want you to be perfect..you dont have to be a size 2 or the beauty queen or the valedictorian of your highschool. Jesus thinks you are to die for.

1 thing the Lord has constantly been putting on my heart lately is how i conduct myself...now i'm not meaning being prim and proper or anything. lol. But how i conduct myself around my family..(this is where the grace comes in). Now i know that you all have a family and my guess is that you dont always get along with them..Lord knows I dont get along with my family 1/2 the time, mainly my brother. I always pray to God, "God please change his heart...let him live for you." And i get so frustrated when he doesnt..but then God made me realize, if I want him to change his life and become a Christian, I need to have a MUCH more Christ Like attitude around him. Act with GRACE when we have our moments instead of just saying "whatever freak" and going/storming off somewhere. I mean sure I am sarcastic and i have got my whole attitude goin on, but the Lord wants me to act with Grace. JD isnt confused by the Gospel..he's mainly confused by me. Thats why I need to start acting with Grace and a Christ like attitude around him.